


Warm

by TortiTabby



Series: Bingo Fics! [10]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: BBC, Depression, M/M, hurt comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-26
Updated: 2018-10-26
Packaged: 2019-08-07 22:56:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16417607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TortiTabby/pseuds/TortiTabby
Summary: Dan feels nothing but the outside air feels cold.





	Warm

**Author's Note:**

> This is for my bbc, depression and manchester squares for my bingo card!

Dan could see that Phil was starting to get worried and he couldn’t blame him. It had been nearly a week since this mood had swept in like a whirlwind and taken a hold of Dan, refusing to let up enough for him to find his bearings.

It was really the worst week for a downer mood to take root in him, as well. They had gotten a call from the BBC and Phil spent an endless nerve wracking time away on his phone smoothing things over. Apparently he knew the right things to say or right strings to pull because before Dan could begin to imagine it Phil informed him they had a Christmas Special filmed and edited.

Phil was buzzing around that always nearly asking what was wrong but never exactly landing on the question and Dan was thankful. He didn’t know what was wrong. He rode the high of feeling accomplished, of really feeling accomplished for the first time since he dropped out of uni and then fell into this black hole that he couldn’t find his way out of.  

Dan just sat in their kitchen at the breakfast bar he loved to crawl around on, despite Phil’s mock outrage every time he did it, staring out into nothing. A selfish part of him wished that he could have his day like this without Phil around. He didn’t want Phil to see this side of him, no matter how many times he had glimpses of it before. The dark cloud hanging over Dan didn’t take into account who was standing underneath it before it started to pour and Dan didn’t have an umbrella big enough for himself to fit underneath, let alone Phil as well. 

Phil finally came and sat down besides Dan and looked him up and down. He worried his lip between his teeth and Dan could almost hear the gears turning in his head.

“Do you want to go down to Shakeaway?” He asked finally and shook Dan’s shoulder a little. It was clear the BBC hype was still coursing through Phil and who was Dan to try and stop that.

 

The bundled up and traveled outside, the frosty air biting at Dan’s nose and chilling his lungs with the first step out. 

Phil hummed to himself as the started their walk while Dan kept quiet. Inside of his head was loud enough.

The Christmas Special was such big news for the two of them and Dan really was excited to see how it turned out and how it did, although he tried not to focus on that part too much or he’d just end up worrying himself. He really was happy but he just couldn’t force his brain to accept that. He had Phil they were successful, he wasn’t in Uni and Youtube was doing pretty well for him. There were no reasons for days like today but his brain somehow still wasn’t convinced.

He was lost in his thoughts of the BBC and Uni and how he should tell his parents, even though it was a good thing, when he walked right into Phil’s back. 

“Oh! Why did you stop walking?” 

Phil just looked at him. He looked upset and Dan felt a flurry of panic. He didn’t upset Phil often, he was the most understanding person Dan knew.

“Dan I’ve been talking to you for the past five minutes. Are you okay? There’s something wrong and I don’t know why you’re not telling me.” 

Dan’s heart sank. He couldn’t imagine how this looked to Phil who he just shut out without saying anything.

“I don’t-”

“We’ve been together for two years, you can tell me anything.” His voice softened and he just looked concerned.

“I don’t know what’s wrong.” Dan said in a small voice. It was a flimsy reply to his own ears.

Phil waited for him to elaborate but Dan wasn’t sure how. He could tell Phil was disappointed. He could feel frustration ball up in his throat making it hard to swallow. He didn’t want to talk about this anymore. He couldn’t make Phil get it.

“Let’s go to starbucks instead. I’m cold.” He walked past Phil and tried to ignore the guilt that ate away at him. At least he was feeling something. 

“I’ll order. You get the seats.” Phil said and made his way to the counter without waiting for a response. It was the first thing he’d said the rest of the walk and Dan wanted to curl up and disappear at this point. He wasn’t trying to push Phil away. He didn’t know how he would fair without him and had no intention on finding out. He just didn’t know how to make Phil understand a part of Dan that was such a draining mystery to himself.

“Here I got you extra caramel. I felt like maybe you needed it today.” Phil sat down Dan’s drink and curled up on the couch across from Dan with his own warm in between his hands. His tone wasn’t cold but he still wasn’t looking  _ at  _ Dan.

“Sorry.” Dan said meakley. 

Phil’s eyes met his own. “I just wish I knew what you were apologizing  _ for _ , Dan.”

Dan shrunk in his seat but it seemed he accidentally opened a door he hadn’t meant to. 

“I just don’t know why you’re upset or why you aren’t telling me. I thought the BBC was a good thing? Is it me?”

“What? Phil, no. Stop please.” 

Phil huffed an exasperated sigh but Dan could see his hands trembling. 

“Let’s go home. Please.” Dan clumsily rose to his feet and made his way back into the frigid cold.

It seemed like Manchester was having an off day, as well. The wind sent a chill through Dan’s jacket and his ears hurt from not being covered. 

He sighed as he glanced around this big, beautiful city that he loved. The city where he had found Phil and occasionally lost himself. 

Not that this hasn’t happened before. Dan tried to remind himself days like this always happened and they were far and in between. 

He slowed his walk until he was in step next to Phil and chanced a glance over to him. 

Phil still looked upset but more than anything else on his face was worry.

Dan decided to be brave and lace their fingers together. Phil’s fingers were like ice but Dan only clutched them tighter.

“Do you ever get days where you’re just sad, for no reason?” 

Phil knitted his eyebrows together and shook his head.

“It’s hard to explain. I’m not really  _ sad  _ I’m just….” he struggled to find the right words. “I’m just not happy today. And it’s not you or the BBC or anything like that I’m just off some days. You’ve seen them before.” 

Phil squeezed Dan’s hand. 

“I don't like it when you’re sad.” He said helplessly. 

They reached the building for their flat and ran through the freezing mist from the fountains.

“That’s  _ so cold _ ! Why do they still have them on?” As if to mock Dan the wind changed directions effectively spraying him in the face and soaking through his coat.

He screeched and ran for the building, Phil howling with laughter on his tail.

He hopped from toe to toe waiting for the lift to come down.

“You’re soaked!” Phil laughed but pulled Dan in against him. They hurried into the lift and then into their flat.

Dan shed his wet clothes the second their door was shut.

“Come here.” Phil grabbed a hold of Dan’s wrist once he was down to just his pants and lead him through the flat and onto the sofa. 

“I’ll be right back.” He started to walk away before he doubled back and kissed Dan squarely on the lips. He met Dan’s eyes and nodded seemingly to himself before hurrying away. 

Dan wrapped his arms around his middle. 

“What are you doing? I’m freezing!” He yelled. 

A blanket flew from behind the couch and landed promptly on his head. He shrugged it off and laughed as Phil dumped what had to be every blanket they owned in their flat on top of Dan.

Phil tore off his own shirt and jeans before joining Dan in the mountain of blankets. 

“Hi.” He said once he was efficiently wrapped around Dan.

Dan just smiled before grabbing the sides of Phil’s face and bringing it in to kiss. He was lucky,  _ so incredibly lucky _ to find Phil. 

“I kind of really love you.” He said in a low voice.

Phil beamed at him before pulling a blanket over their heads. 

“My ears are cold.” He explained and Dan burst into laughter.

“I love you, too.” he added after a minute and wrapped his arms around Dan. 

“You can have your sad days, I just wish I knew how to help during them.” 

“You help by just being you. I’m sorry I worried you.” Dan whispered.

Phil just hummed in response and pulled Dan in closer.

“Are you cold?” He asked.

Dan wasn’t. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I am going to be late for work so I'm sorry if there are errors lol!
> 
> please let me know what you think  
> tortitabby.tumblr.com


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